Sometimes a date doesn’t go well. But just because there’s a problem of some kind doesn’t mean you can’t get a ‘result’ from the date. You know what I mean by ‘result’, don’t you?
I had a date a couple of months ago that went unbelievably wrong, but turned out right in the end.
I met my date for the first time in the car park of a country pub. I followed my usual strategy for greeting a woman to set the right ‘tone’ for the date.
As you can see from page 158 of my e-book ‘Online Dating Tips For Men’, if you can get things onto a flirty/sexy tone from the start, then your chances of success are very much magnified.
The pub was nice, but very busy. There was only one table free where we could sit, and that was right up against a larger table where a party of four were eating.
Anyway, I ordered drinks and we sat down and started chatting. Things were going well.
Then, almost subconsciously, I noticed something odd. Whenever I started to speak, a voice at the next table started too, quite loudly.
So, without diverting more than a little of my attention from my date (which is always a big mistake), I listened to the rather booming voice from the table next to us.
Indeed, what was happening was that a large, jowly man, with a nose red-tipped probably from years of drinking port wine, was COMMENTING on everything I was saying! He was clearly the host of his party, with a dominating character that was almost bullying his guests into paying attention to him. They laughed politely at his snide comments, but without enthusiasm.
At this point, my date realized what was going on too. We moved in close so we could whisper to each other. We decided not to make a fuss, which whether or not it shut the guy up would have set a bad tone for the rest of the date.
And I was quite happy to move in close and talk quietly with my date. In fact I couldn’t have been happier because, as explained on page 162 of ‘Online Dating Tips For Men’, talking quietly and closely is one of the best ways of establishing rapport and intimacy.
Unfortunately even though our rude neighbor couldn’t hear us, he kept commenting about us and speculating about what we might be talking about. ‘Lovers canoodling’ was how he described us at one point!
Clearly this was an uncomfortable situation, but I was actually benefiting from it as I was getting closer to my date, and we were sharing this difficult experience. The rapport was becoming intense and we started touching hands.
Eventually the large guy went quiet, but that was quite irrelevant as my date and I were in our own private bubble of intimacy.
In short, it was a fantastic first date and set exactly the right tone for us to progress to the second!
There are lots of things that can go wrong in a date that are beyond control. But often that can result in a rapport and bond being established much more quickly than would otherwise be the case.
Mike Thorpe
Author of ‘Online Dating Tips For Men’